My thoughts on - Selfishness

Inspired by dyhowel's blog.

When it is positive.

I strongly relate this to self-love. I’m a believer that more often selflessness is unhealthy. We are not some God nor higher being to constantly have the energy to contribute good things to mankind. At some time recharge is needed to be able to continue to share. In fact, the more we love ourselves (oftentimes by being selfish), the more we get energy to spread the love we have in us.

The right timing to be essentially selfish is when being nice or being generous or being loving gets to be a chore than a willing act. Suddenly helping a friend or family gets us cranky or gives us resentments which are destructive. We lose our strength and we need to focus on ourselves again during these times.

An afternoon or evening of time alone to breathe and reflect, pamper or spoil yourself can make a lot of difference. A relaxing night dipped in a tub, or marathoning a series you enjoy, or an afternoon watching the sunset on a cliff with an amazing view of the beach or ocean, etc… Be firm on unplugging yourself from all the ties, the responsibilities, the invitations, the calls – be selfish. You’ll be revived, refreshed, and ready to go back to the world after that.

I think these are the reasons for retreats, vacations, cruises, spas, hotels, etc… They are ways to be selfish, to tell the world “this is for me.” It’s time to recharge.

When it is negative.

When it gets too much. Society casts us that stone when we lack balance. When we get too selfish, more often we get greedy, and this is always very much linked to money and wealth. Given that life is never fair, but it’s still reasonable to say excessive selfishness equates to you always having more, and others having less and thus this is wrong.

A glass may need refilling, but it does get full. A battery may need recharging, but it gets full charged. Our body may need rest, but it does get re-energized. Just as we see our limitations that we need a break from time to time, we are also aware that our selfishness can only go to a certain extent. If we go beyond this, nothing gets better, it only gets worse.

Balanced selfishness is good food for the soul.